Article 3. Journaling
By Nahedeh Eqdam
Has there been a time where you thought to yourself ‘I’ve changed’ or ‘I think I’m becoming a [insert any word; better/worse/happier/anxious] person’? How did you know you had changed? Was it just a feeling? Or maybe friends had made remarks about you being more positive and driven, or perhaps cynical and negative? You don’t know exactly when, but you know something has happened and you feel different compared to two or five years ago. Well, my answer to this is I keep a journal to track who I am and my thoughts over time.
I’m always surprised by the number of people who are really into self improvement and talk about good eating habits and exercise but scoff at the idea of keeping a journal. How are you truly improving who you are, as a person, if you aren’t able to be reflective with yourself? Our mind needs looking after, just as our bodies do.
The whole point of journaling is to capture a part of yourself at a moment in time. It is something you can look back on years later and either be surprised by, laugh at or learn from. You can look back at your stream of consciousness writing, how you set goals and what they were, how you dealt with family/relationship issues, and maybe only then will you truly know whether your thoughts, habits or tendencies have improved or changed in any way. Or maybe you’ll notice a pattern in how you deal with certain situations?
Imagine writing down your thoughts about a partner while you’re with them. The joy, the happiness, the excitement. Then imagine documenting how you feel during your break up. The frustration, the ‘why did they say that’, the rejection, the loneliness and the tears. Then imagine continuing to write monthly and, years later, you write that you are happy, single or with a new partner. When you read back on those moments, the details of the past will have slipped your mind. These may be the small things they did or said to aggravate you or bring you joy. Though, you’ll realise how far you’ve come and maybe, for a moment, you’ll realise that you actually have changed.
You’re perhaps cringing at this, not sure what to make of it and imagining ‘Dear Diary’. That’s not what I’m talking about, however, if that’s how you write, go for it. I’ve learnt over time there is no right or wrong process and that there are no rules. You can have different purposes to journaling but you shouldn’t be thinking that there’s a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ way. This is the approach many writers and artists have taken over time and written about. You should always do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
Now there are about as many ‘how to journal’ videos out there as there are ‘morning yoga’ videos. I’ve watched and read about a fair amount of these over the years. Some are useful, some are odd, and some are just too long to watch. The one thing I will always recommend is to capture your thoughts in writing. Externalising what you're going through and putting it down into words is cathartic. It can help you define and label what you’re feeling, somehow calm your internal narrator, pause for a moment and reflect on what is going on. There’s a lot of research noting journaling as a positive mental health habit and how it increases mindfulness since you are forced to slow down, pause and reflect. 123
How do you do it?
I tend to cultivate mini-habits. I find that it’s the only sustainable way for me to make any real improvements with what I do. If I want to be great at yoga, I start with 15 minute sessions a few times per week, with the aim of moving up to 30 minutes daily within 4 months. Maybe you’re different, but if you’re like me you will likely fail when trying to do too much at once. It will be short lived. A lot of current neuroscience research has shown that gradual, small changes can trick your brain into creating new habits. 4
So the first step is to do three things:
1. Decide why you want to write and;
2. Buy a notebook (or several) that you like the look and feel of.
3. Don’t expect to write too often and don’t pressure yourself when you don’t feel like writing.
With the first point, this is personal and depends on who you are. Reasons could be:
To keep track of your general mood on a regular basis (daily/weekly/monthly or whenever you feel like it);
To plan your ambitions and what you want to achieve - such as setting up a business, quitting your job and freelancing, and so on;
To offload and externalise any concerns/fears/anxiety about specific issues and confusing thoughts. Write down things you are grateful for or poetry. You may be experiencing loss, grief, concerns about loved ones, not sure about whether to leave a partner or the job you’re in etc.
Anything else relevant to you and where you are in life right now.
These different objectives lend themselves to different styles of writing. If I’m writing about something I’m experiencing, such as grief, I tend to go for a ‘stream of consciousness’ style of writing. Or to put it in plain terms, mind dumping. I don't have any structure or specific objective, but I need to explain what is going on inside me. I write it down, sentence after sentence and with poor punctuation, just on-going. It’s liberating, freeing, and it is the one place, most likely, where you can truly say, feel and hate/love/want/wish anything and nothing and experience no judgement. You can write as little or as much as you want. The day after a friend of mine passed away, I wrote two sentences. The week after I left a job that meant a lot to me, I wrote 10 pages. Everyone is different, so give yourself permission to truly be yourself without judgement.
Personally, I have one ‘mind dumping’ journal and I have a second one meant for my career, professional goals, hobbies and things I’m trying to learn i.e. a new language. I write in this one monthly and reflect on how far I’ve gotten, set some mini-goals, and maybe even change my goals. It’s pretty interesting looking back on what my goals and ambitions were several years ago. Some were a little too ambitious and some of them I actually achieved. It’s easy to be hard on yourself, but if you look back at the last 5 or 10 years, you have likely achieved more than you realise
The ‘mind-dumping’ journal is one that I write in whenever I feel like it. I can go a month without touching it and then 8 days in a row I’ll write several pages. Sometimes it’s hard to write and it feels draining, particularly if you’re going through something difficult. In these moments, I don't touch it. Find the moment or time that suits you. The only thing to remember is try to be honest when writing. Don’t write as if your writing will be read by someone else. Don’t worry about the length of your sentences.
Sometimes I look back at writing from several years ago and wonder why I wasted so much time on one particular issue. Maybe you’ll realise you had no boundaries in your last relationship and lost a part of who you were. Or maybe that you need to slow down when making decisions, or be more patient with yourself. Who knows what you will find out. Reading things about yourself, written by your past self, can help you realise more than you know. Learning more about who you are is more useful than you think.
Try it out! Journaling may be the one place where you can be who you want to be and not be judged or ridiculed. It’s a way of developing your relationship with yourself.
And you deserve that.
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1 Courtney E. Ackerman, “83 Benefits of Journaling for Depression, Anxiety, and Stress,” Positive Psychology, https://positivepsychology.com/benefits-of-journaling/
2 Smyth, Joshua M et al. “Online Positive Affect Journaling in the Improvement of Mental Distress and Well-Being in General Medical Patients With Elevated Anxiety Symptoms: A Preliminary Randomized Controlled Trial.” JMIR mental health vol. 5,4 e11290. 10 Dec. 2018, doi:10.2196/11290 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6305886/
3 Thai Nguyen, “10 Surprising Benefits You'll Get From Keeping a Journal”, Huffpost, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/benefits-of-journaling-_b_6648884
4 Thomas Oppong, “The Neuroscience of Change: How to Train Your Brain to Create Better Habits,” Medium, https://medium.com/swlh/to-break-bad-habits-you-really-have-to-change-your-brain-the-neuroscience-of-change-da735de9afdf
